“It is easier to build strong children than to repair broken men.” –Frederick Douglass
It's easy to dream of a beautiful world, but it's as difficult to create a world, that's why God made heaven out of human reach. But the very easiest way to create a better world is empowering and brightening childhood. There is a saying that “childhood is the father of a man”, psychologists say that personality develops during childhood and the events in childhood fuels different attitudes and behaviors in adulthood. It is evident that childhood has significance in adult behaviors.
But how parents acknowledge this fact is really an area where our brain cells should be invested. According to African-American abolitionist and author Frederick Douglass it is way more easier to make strong children than make adults into good. He knew the importance of a strong foundation. Children thrive when they’re challenged, given responsibility and encouraged to assume leadership roles. Strong children will inevitably become strong adults.
Now we know childhood is not a period of just playing and eating candies. The internal conflict of a child losing his toy is more important than an adult losing his job. If the child gets proper indication to deal with that pain, eventually the child learns to deal with heartbreaks in adulthood.
So who is contributing more in effective childhood? Whom the child spent more time with?
All fingers pointed towards parents.
Parenthood is a bliss but it is really frightening though. When a baby is born to the world, there are two human beings also being born to a new world of parenthood. Producing a thinking being is a challenge and parents take the responsibility of channelizing them into good, A REALLY HARD TASK.
Being a parent means sacrificing your future for your kid’s future. Parents strive to make kid’s lives better before they come into this world and continue to do that till their last breath. The sacrifices they make for their children are innumerable.
But in between the hurdle of making the best individual in the surrounding, parents often forget to bring the happiness and well- being of a child. There was a case in the U.S.A where a child suffered severe malnutrition. The kid didn't belong to a financially poor family background. But the kid got starved just because the parents were fat and they didn't want their kid to suffer body shaming as they had to suffer. Noble thought, but clearly that made the kid suffer. In Kerala the story is a little different. Here parents are overprotective and scared to let the child make decisions. The decisions regarding a child's life are already served at the breakfast table with puttu and kadala curry. And the protective nature kills the decision making ability and problem solving ability not only in childhood, but to entire life. But after all “it's for their good”, “we know life more than you”, and the famous “ we have sacrificed our lives to you, don't we have this much right?” replace all the questions of the younger mind.
We have to appreciate the thinking and that's the only prosperous way of making the best individual. Appreciating parenthood doesn't mean you should forget to appreciate your child’s ability to explore himself as well as to explore the world. You can help them by giving a hand when they fall, not by restricting them from playing. You can give support by wiping the red droplets on their knee when their tears are flowing like Periyar. Let them experience their world and your hand should feel like support rather than an obstacle.
We never see any animal go against their parents by fighting or any animal take stick to make the child obedient. Famous primatologist and anthropologist Jane Goodall found that as parents we are not different from animals. She said that “One thing I had learned from watching chimpanzees with their infants is that having a child should be fun”. Parents face enormous pressure from the moms and dads around them, and themselves. And all parents do not enjoy the process of parenting, hence they put they made it hard to enjoy to the child. Jane Goodall, a primatologist and mother of one, saw we’re not so different from our animal friends. Just like the chimps, we should appreciate the joys of the present rather than obsessing about the uncertainty of the future and the failures of the past.
Being a parent is tough, to make it beautiful both the parents and child should enjoy the processing and enjoy your faults and their failures. And parents are not superhumans and trying to be “super mom” or “super dad” is a fun story to our child, but seeking help when it is needed and growing as parents is really heroic.
Parenting can be both rewarding and challenging. If you ever feel overwhelmed or need guidance, Koott’s experienced Malayali psychologists are here to support you through online counseling. Don’t hesitate—reach out and discover a healthier, happier path for both you and your child.
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