Have you ever felt like someone you thought was amazing suddenly became the worst person ever, all because of one thing they did? That intense shift in how you view someone might be a sign of something called splitting.
Splitting is a way of thinking that therapists see in some people, particularly those with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). So here Malayali therapist explains what is splitting, It's basically seeing things in extremes – completely good or completely bad, with no room for the middle ground. Imagine the world as a colouring book, but you only have a black marker and a white crayon. Everything gets painted as one extreme or the other, which can be pretty limiting!
So, why do people split? It's kind of a defence mechanism. When someone with BPD experiences intense emotions, like anxiety or anger, splitting can be a way to simplify things and make those feelings less overwhelming. It's like putting up a mental wall to separate the good from the bad.
Here's how splitting can play out: Let's say you have a friend you absolutely adore. They're funny, kind, and always there for you (idealization). Then, one day they forget to meet you for lunch. Suddenly, all that good stuff seems to vanish. Now they're the flakiest, most unreliable person ever (devaluation). This rapid switch between idealization and devaluation is a common pattern in splitting.
The problem with splitting is that it creates a distorted view of reality. People aren't black and white, they're complex mixes of good and bad qualities, just like you are! Splitting can make it hard to have healthy relationships because it's difficult to maintain connections when you keep swinging between extremes. It can also make it tough to see yourself realistically, leading to self-esteem issues.
While everyone experiences a bit of splitting from time to time, especially when we're young, it becomes a problem when it happens constantly and interferes with your daily life.
If you suspect splitting might be affecting you, there's good news! Therapists can teach you skills to manage your emotions in healthier ways and help you see the world in all its colourful shades, not just black and white.
If you or someone you know is struggling with splitting or emotional challenges, don’t face it alone. At Koott, our experienced Malayali psychologist offer online counseling to help you build healthier relationships and manage emotions more effectively. Reach out today and start your journey towards emotional balance and well-being.
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