Begin with an important lesson. 'Son, this is going to be an important turning point in your life'. Our parents started saying this decades ago. What do they actually mean by repeating this many times? Is there really something to take a turn? If So, Can't they convey it in some other way? Are our children happy hearing this?
Anyway, the child took a turn but the remarks did not vanish. Excited about their achievements, mom said "This fool is like his dad, good for nothing", A dad who complimented "he has got all the foolishness of his mom",
" she would have scored above 90 if she had got my brain". For some parents, the ultimate happiness is "Look at Sita's son. He scored 99%. He is very smart and intelligent not a
Stupid like you".
Suddenly, a rocket launch of self-esteem in children fell into the Pacific. A feeling of 'useless and good for nothing' Stem inside them.
Can a mere exam evaluate a child’s whole ability? Many of us think so. There is a pressing need to create an awareness of intelligence. A student attends an exam based on what his teacher taught and what he himself prepared. All these exams measure how much he could retrieve. Here what is being tested is memory, not intelligence. Then what is intelligence?
Of course, it's something that makes individuals different. It discriminates the social animal from other animals. Psychologically speaking, intelligence is the ability to think abstractly and learn from experiences. An individual is intelligent if he could adapt and learn from any situation whether it is physical, social, or emotional. This ability is not completely biological. Both nature and nurture equally contribute to it. Intelligence is not fixed, but it is flexible on how we use our abilities.
Common people believe highly gifted and creative children have exceptional intelligence. This is absolutely incorrect. Because intelligence is not unitary. It contains different dimensions like musical, linguistic, naturalistic, and so on. People may dominate over one or more types of Intelligence. High IQ is not mandatory for creativity too.
Another fact that you should accept is that intelligence is not a must-component of success.
For a growing child, family is the first social group where one gets all acceptance, appreciation, and attention. self-esteem adds to better utilization of their abilities.
Primarily a child should be taught to face any toil, tackle any hurdles and make wise decisions.
Remember a child has potential above their abilities. That is why Albert Einstein said, “Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid.”
For children, dreams are their sky. So never set limits to it. Their wings are not to be cut down even if you helped them grow. Let them really rise!
Raising a child is about nurturing their unique potential, not just focusing on academic success. If you're concerned about your child’s mental well-being or need guidance on fostering healthy self-esteem, don't hesitate to reach out. At Koott, our Malayali psychologists offer online counseling to help both children and parents navigate these challenges. Together, we can ensure your child grows with confidence and resilience—start the conversation today.
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